Over the past few years there has been more and more talk and research about “Helicopter Parents” a term given to parents that tend to hover over their child, never giving the child full control of their educational life. Wikipedia defines helicopter parents as “a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. An extension of the term, "Black Hawk parents," has been coined for those who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior, such as writing their children's college admission essays. (The reference is to the military helicopter of the same name.) Some college professors and administrators are now referring to "Lawnmower parents" to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children's workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent). The new trend for parents of today’s college bound students is to not only help them through the admission process but to do most of it themselves. Parents are the ones making the phone calls to college admission offices, asking questions at college fairs and on campus tours, sometimes not even giving their child a chance to do it themselves. The child cannot learn to advocate for themselves if the parents always do it for them. One of the biggest issues I personally tend to see on the college campus I work for is in the residence halls. Students are not filling out the roommate information correctly because parents are either doing it all for them or hovering over them while they are doing it. Students are being improperly matched with other students thus making roommates incompatible and constructing issues that could have been avoided. An article by Shannon Colavecchio-Van Sickler of the St. Petersburg Times has some great insight from college professionals on this subject. “Administrators say they know these parents mean well. But their frequent phone calls and unreasonable demands stunt student development and test the patience of college officials. Where parent behavior becomes a challenge for us is when they encourage dependence, and they become too involved because they are afraid their son or daughter will make a mistake," says Tom Miller, a University of South Florida dean of students. "Our students are graduating," says Jeanna Mastrodicasa, associate dean of the UF honors college. "But they are not ready to go into the real world." (http://www.sptimes.com/2006/06/19/State/Mommy__tell_my_profes.shtml)
Now I know this all sounds very negative so far but there is also research that suggests being a helicopter parents is not all bad. A study done by the National Survey of Student Engagement show that students whose parents were very often in contact with them and frequently intervened on their behalf "reported higher levels of engagement and more frequent use of deep learning activities," such as after-class discussions with professors, intensive writing exercises and independent research, than students with less-involved parents. "Compared with their counterparts, children of helicopter parents were more satisfied with every aspect of their college experience, gained more in such areas as writing and critical thinking, and were more likely to talk with faculty and peers about substantive topics," said survey director George D. Kuh, an Indiana University professor. Another thing that the NSSE study also indicated was that although engagement levels and use of deep learning activities were up, the grade point averages of students reporting more frequent contact with parents and whose parents intervened more frequently on their behalf were lower. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/04/AR2007110401754.html) Also found in a recent study done by Shilo Henriques the Associate Director of Admission at Cape Code Community College in her thesis Information regarding the long-term detriments of helicopter Parenting. Her study overwhelmingly indicated that “college students and faculty alike agree that the detriments of helicopter parenting outweigh its benefits. Development of important qualities and life skills are greatly affected when parents do not allow their children to learn from their own mistakes. The development of independence, self-advocacy and decision-making skills are crucial to being a successful adult and often times are lacking in people who have not been allowed to fend for themselves."
The College Board web-site has a great test for parents to take if they are questioning their helicopter tendencies. Follow this link and scroll to the bottom to take the quiz for yourself or if someone you know needs a little help to figure it out please feel free to send them the link. The better ready and prepared students can be for college and the real world the better. http://www.collegeboard.com/parents/plan/getting-ready/155044.html.
By: Aaron F. Smith
College Counselor and Learning Disabilities Specialist
University Advisors Admission Specialists
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